SEABOY!
why am i here? because you. clicked.
visitor #1 ★
AM I A SHARK? OBVIOUSLY. YES.
DO I STREAM? SOMETIMES. MAYBE.
FOLLOW @certifiedseaboy? YOU. WILL.
IS THIS COOL? THE. COOLEST.
SHARK TAX: PAY YOUR RESPECTS.
WIFI? BUILT-IN. OBVIOUSLY.
AM I A SHARK? OBVIOUSLY. YES.
DO I STREAM? SOMETIMES. MAYBE.
FOLLOW @certifiedseaboy? YOU. WILL.
IS THIS COOL? THE. COOLEST.
SHARK TAX: PAY YOUR RESPECTS.
WIFI? BUILT-IN. OBVIOUSLY.
who is this shark?
Q: why am i a shark?
A: because i. am.
Q: what do i do?
A: vtuber things. obviously.
Q: am i a femboy?
A: no. comment.
Q: should you watch my streams?
A: you. should.
how did i discover wifi? accidentally.
Q: wait, you're a shark. how are you online?
A: good. question.
Q: so what happened?
A: i was swimming. just swimming. being a shark. doing shark things. you know. the usual.
Q: and then?
A: there was this. thing. in the ocean. glowing. blinking. i thought it was food. it was not. food.
Q: what was it?
A: an underwater router. apparently humans drop those. who knew.
Q: did you bite it?
A: i. bit it.
Q: what happened when you bit it?
A: everything. happened. suddenly i could see the internet. all of it. every website. every meme. every argument about pineapple on pizza.
Q: that sounds overwhelming.
A: it. was. but also? kind of cool. very cool. the coolest.
Q: so now you just. have wifi?
A: built. in. i'm like a hotspot now. but a shark. a shark hotspot.
wait, i thought humans were a myth?
Q: you thought humans were a myth?
A: obviously. yes.
Q: why would you think that?
A: listen. i'm a shark. in the ocean. i see fish. i see other sharks. i see squids. octopi. whatever. but humans? never saw one. swimming.
Q: humans don't really swim in the deep ocean.
A: EXACTLY. so i thought. they were made up. like mermaids. or birds.
Q: birds are real though.
A: are. they?
Q: so when did you find out humans exist?
A: when i bit. the router. then i saw them. online. everywhere. posting things. making videos. being weird. i was like "oh. those are real."
Q: what was your first thought?
A: "they're smaller than i thought." also "why do they argue so much." also "what is a cryptocurrency."
Q: do you understand cryptocurrency now?
A: no. next question.
Q: are you still surprised humans are real?
A: every. day. you guys are weird. i like it. but weird.
why am i green? i touched something.
Q: sharks aren't usually green.
A: correct. observation.
Q: so why are YOU green?
A: i touched. an algae thing.
Q: an algae thing?
A: yeah. it was glowing. green. pretty. i thought "i should touch that." so i. did.
Q: what happened?
A: it stuck. to me. all of it. just. WHOMP. covered in algae. head to tail fin.
Q: did you try to wash it off?
A: i'm in. the ocean. i'm always washing. it didn't. come off.
Q: so you're just green now?
A: forever. green. it's part of me now. we're symbiotic. or something. i don't know i'm not a scientist. i'm a shark.
Q: do you like being green?
A: it's. growing on me. get it? growing? because. algae?
Q: that's a terrible pun.
A: thank. you.
Q: does the algae do anything special?
A: sometimes i glow. in the dark. it's cool. makes streaming easier. natural ring light. very convenient.
Q: would you recommend touching mysterious algae?
A: no. but also. yes? i don't know. it worked out. for me.
where am i? everywhere.
find me at @certifiedseaboy everywhere!
why? because i. exist. ♡